Once Bitten, Twice Shy, & Totally Stuck
Ever done something you thought was good or neutral only to have your wife act like you were a horrible person? Or maybe you suggested doing something and she treated you like some sort of monster. Or maybe she just freaked out or got really ugly.
It’s enough to make you never go near that thing again!
If there are just a handful of these in your marriage, it might not be a big deal. If you have a list so long you can’t remember them all, you have a problem. I certainly understand the desire to avoid being hurt again, but this is not the way mature adults relate to each other.
At best you caught her at a bad time and she overreacted. At worst she has learned she can control you by overreacting. Either way, you’re giving up things you want to avoid getting hurt and you’re not developing the ability to discuss difficult things as a couple.
To me being able to discuss things is huge. You want to develop the ability to talk about difficult things before you have a major, life-changing issue come up. Whether or not you get what you want is secondary to being able to discuss difficult issues in a calm, rational way. If you don’t push for this it’s going to bite you someday!
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