Home As A Safe Place

I keep hearing the phrase “Safe Place” being used in all kinds of ways.

Is your home a safe place?

Homes As A Safe Place

Is it a safe place for your wife and kids to be themselves? Is it a safe place to make mistakes and know there is grace? Is it a safe place to let down your guard and expose your innermost self? Is it a place that is free of yelling, criticism, and belittling?

If your home is not any of these, how can you start to change that?

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8 Comments on “Home As A Safe Place

  1. No my home is not a safe place my wife yells and threatens. And withholds affection.

  2. I try to make my home a safe place, and a peaceful one. Where my stepson can sprawl on the couch or ambush me with silly string and it’s all okay. Where it’s pleasant to be. You know?

      • I have to consciously remind myself sometimes. :) My stepson and I were exploring Dallas one afternoon this summer, and I took a turn so we were talking doing a REALLY sketchy street in downtown. It was midafternoon, but there were dozens and dozens of homeless people, some of them fighting with each other. I told him that if anything happened, I wanted him to leave me and run for the corner (where there were cops stationed), and he said, no, if someone tried to mug us, he’d just kick them in the n**s and karate chop him. The first thing I said was that he should play it safe and run and not try to fight anyone because he’s still a kid — and then I remembered he’s a 12-year-old boy, and I told him I was wrong, and I was really proud that his first thought was to fight back and protect me. I want to encourage him to think heroically (for lack of a better word) — that he is strong and capable and his role is to protect the weak. Not to be afraid and passive (even though he IS a kid and it’s still my job to protect him).

  3. Our home was never a safe place, ever. I tried to fool myself into thinking that if I was stable, consistent, and safe, that it would be enough for our kids and would mitigate the damage from an emotionally unstable, abusive father. I thought a man’s influence in a home was more necessary than peace and a sense of security. I assumed that the good times when he appeared to be a decent human being, a loving family man, and a remorseful friend would make up for the times that he was a raging dictator, cruel husband, or manipulative, broken juvenile. I was SO wrong! It breaks my heart almost daily to realize that by binding myself to an unsafe man and an unsafe home, I also chained my children to a life of angst, fear, confusion, mistrust, and skewed misconceptions of what a man is meant to be and what a marriage relationship should be like.

    If anyone, man or woman, is in an unsafe relationship or living in an unsafe home with a habitually unrepentant spouse who has been given many opportunities for forgiveness and change but shows no long term progress or willingness to get help, then GET OUT no matter how hard it is or what it costs you. It may be difficult beyond measure but God will sustain you and carry you through. The feeling of peace when you no longer live in constant anxiety and dread of how the other person will act or what they will say is a treasure worth more than any hardships that come from leaving that person.

    Statistically, children are better off in an intact home EXCEPT where there is abuse present; that abuse includes verbal, emotional, spiritual, sexual, and financial abuse…not just physical like how many Christians narrowly define abuse.

    An unsafe home is no home at all. It is just a physical windbreak of walls where people eat and sleep while their spirits starve and their hearts grow cold and their inner beings bleed and die.

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