What Needs to be Done vs My Job/Her Job
Who does what around the home is a common cause of conflict in marriages. We argue about whose job something is, or who did it last.
Some of this is probably inevitable because of how much it takes to keep a home running well and how busy most of us are. When we feel squeezed for time we look for ways to take things off our to-do list, and putting it on our spouse’s list is one way to do that. However, I think failing to see our marriage as a team also plays into this.
Over the last few years, this changed for me. I started to see what needed to be done as part of what WE need to do to keep the house functional. I paid less attention to how much we’d both done or who did something last and focused more on what needed to be done. If it needed to be done and I could do it right then, I did it. If it needed to be done and I couldn’t do it right then I would try to make time. Sometimes Lori would get to it before I did, sometimes she wouldn’t.
I will admit there are some factors that make this much easier for me than for many of you. Lori and I live in an RV. That means there is less to do and cleaning an entire room is far less work. We both work from home, so we’re here about the same amount and we can easily fit certain things in around our work. When I was working long hours in the Texas sun doing things this way would have looked different. Still, I wish I’d figured this out much earlier. It would have made Lori’s life better, and that would have made our marriage better. And a better marriage is a good thing!
Speaking of working from home: We are able to do the ministry we do because of the fine folks and churches who support us. We are in the midst of our year-end fundraising and are currently at 13% of our goal. If you value what we do, would you please help out? You can donate online, or send a check to:
The Marriage Bed
4641 Lyons Hill Road
Springdale, WA 99173