Sitting On The Couch While I Clean
This is a follow-up thought on yesterday’s What Needs to be Done vs My Job/Her Job.
I walk past Lori, who is on the couch using her tablet to read or play a game. I walk into the kitchen and see something that should be cleaned or put up. I have a choice as to how I react to the combination of those two things.
I can get upset she is relaxing/playing when the kitchen isn’t perfect. I can be frustrated she is done with her day and I still have work to do. Or I can see the value of my wonderful wife having some fun and relaxation in her life. Let’s face it, all work and no play makes Jill a dull wife and no fun in bed.
Besides, we all tend to overstate in our minds how much we do and understand how much others do. We also tend to overvalue what we do and devalue what others do. Feeling I’m doing more than my share means little because most of us would feel that way even if we were doing less than half.
The other side of this change in how I look at it is that I find it much easier to ask for her help when I really need it. When I’m busy or the day is getting away from me, I have no problem asking Lori to do something, even if it is usually “my job”. I’m much fairer and more reasonable in general, so occasionally asking a bit more of her doesn’t feel so wrong to either of us.