Fight The Boxes

Unboxing yourself involves two things, one internal, the other external.

Internally, getting out of the box has to be more important to you than what getting out is going to cost you. We’re creatures of habit, and we can be comfortable with something even if we know it’s not right or we don’t like it. Getting out of your box usually means being uncomfortable, and it can also mean feeling exposed. There’s also the cost of how others are going to react to you getting out of your box.

Fight The Boxes

The external part of getting out of a box is dealing with how others react. Some folks will fight you getting out of a box even if they benefit from you doing so. Do not underestimate how much people hate change! I’ve seen husbands and wives resist their spouse changing in clearly good ways because it was different or because it would hurt too much if they didn’t stick with it.

Expect pushback and be ready for it. Defensiveness won’t help, and fewer words are better than more. Give a short simple explanation of why you’ve done what you’ve done and move on. Don’t get sucked into a debate or fight. For your wife and others very close to you or directly affected by your change, I suggest you let them know what you’re going to do before or as you do it. Make any reasonable reassurances that seem wise when you do this.

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One Comment on “Fight The Boxes

  1. I suspect that a spouse might try to keep one in a box out of fear; fear that she can’t adapt to the change, or that change will lead to diverging paths and abandonment.

    With the shoe on the other foot, I’ve heard about husbands sabotaging their wives’ efforts to diet for just that reason, fear that a slimmer and more attractive wife will have more opportunity – and incentive – to move on.

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