A Good Marriage With A Broken Spouse
We’re all broken, but some folks are deeply broken and are never going to be able to fix some major issues. Others probably could fix things, but are unwilling to go past a certain point. If you’re married to a woman like that, what do you do?
I knew a wonderful godly man in that situation. Not because he described it that way, but because we got to know him and his wife well enough to see it. She had reached a level of healing that allowed her to be functional and then stopped. She had gone as far as she was going to go.
I don’t know what it took this man to get to where he was when I met him, I suspect it was a difficult battle. He travelled a fair amount for ministry and his wife only joined him if it was in driving distance. He made a point of limiting his time away, and he talked lovingly about his wife to anyone who would listen. When he was with her he was very loving and supportive. I don’t know if he had somehow gotten past his frustration or had just chosen to set it down, but there was no hint of it. I do know he limited his life in many ways because of his wife, something he once admitted to Lori and me.
I see what this man did as loving and very, very Christlike. He didn’t stand up for his “rights” and he didn’t tell the world how broken his wife was. He accepted her limitations and made significant concessions for her. He made a good marriage where most would have been miserable, and that made life better for his wife and for him. I can see how his choices changed him, and how God used those things for good well beyond their marriage.
The point here is you can have a decent marriage with a broken wife if you’re willing to make it happen and she doesn’t walk away. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be fun dying to yourself and some of your desires. However it will be right before God, and He will use your sacrifices for good.
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