If You Can’t Think Anything Nice…

Lori and I are doing The Kindness Challenge: Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship with our marriage small group at church. I must confess I’m finding it challenging because the author is all over what one thinks.

If You Can't Think Anything Nice...

For the most part what comes out of my mouth is kind, but what I think is far less so. Recently God has been showing me that what I think is much more important than I have wanted to believe. I generally have good thoughts about Lori, but not so much some others – like people who drive 15 mph under the speed limit on a two-lane highway with very few places to pass! I’ve always excused such thoughts, but I’m starting to see they do affect me.

I don’t have rude thoughts about my wife because I’ve chosen not to. I guess that proves I can do it, if I want to. My not doing it then means I’m choosing to not live as God calls me to, and while I don’t want to admit it, I know that’s sin.

Do you have unkind/wrong thoughts? 

The Kindness Challenge: Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship by Shaunti Feldhahn (a future must read marriage book!)

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3 Comments on “If You Can’t Think Anything Nice…

  1. I am coming at this from the perspective of one who had major anger issues for years(decades).

    I have a pretty good handle on my behavior these days, tho I do backslide on occasion. On occasion, I have found that my thought life is not where it should be.

    The way I manage that is to never make excuses to myself if my thoughts turn towards anger(I have every right to be angry, because……) i have come to the realization that the only person being hurt in those cases is myself. I had a young man working for me as a crane operator, and he had laminated this quote and posted it prominently in his field of view. “Hanging onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. It doesnt matter if it is taking a long pull from a bottle of poison, or sipping it slowly, it is never good. I have found the same to be true with anger.

  2. And revenge is the same way. Never plan or take revenge. You won’t really hurt the person you want to hurt, but you will ultimately hurt YOU more–much more. Ask yourself why you want revenge. The answer will lead you to forgiveness, not revenge.

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