Keeping Her In the Loop
Our son and his family live on the same ten acres we’re on. We tend to share vehicles and do a few things together, but for the most part, our daily lives are separate. And yet, our son connects with us almost every day to let us know about his activities and schedule. He’s not asking permission or getting clearance, he’s just letting us know because our lives connect enough that it sometimes matters. It’s basic courtesy.
I would say you need to be doing the same thing with your wife, but more so. Telling her what you’re up to and where you’ll be isn’t asking permission or getting clearance; it’s practical and courteous. If what you have planned is not set in stone it would be nice to say something like “Is it a problem if I _____?” Again this is not asking permission, it’s recognising what you do can affect your wife. Telling her what you’re going to do and expecting her to fit her life around that would be rude.