Perfect For EACH OTHER
My wife is nearly perfect…FOR ME. And she feels the same way about me (for some reason that escapes me). But this is very specific to who we are. Some women would think me to be a horrible husband, and some men wouldn’t feel about my wife as I do.
Part of this “good fit” is because we talked and considered if we would be a good fit before we got married. Another part, I’d say a bigger part after 33 years, is that we’ve grown together and grown in much the same way. To some degree living together does that, but we’ve also made it a very intentional thing. There are certain things I don’t pursue as much as I would on my own because Lori’s not into them. There are other things I pursue more than I would on my own because Lori is very much into them. This is not about me denying myself of something I really want or forcing myself to do things I hate; it’s about focusing more or less on things I am okay to start with. It’s shifting myself to be a better match for her. Because Lori does the same for me (and even more so I think) we have developed a great deal of commonly enjoyed activities and preferences.
How do you bend to be more what your wife would like? Do you do that enough? Do you do it too much, perhaps because she does it too little?