Is She Hiding Sexual Pain?
Does sex ever cause your wife pain? A study found most women don’t tell their partner about sexual pain. Statistically about a third of women sometimes experience some pain from intercourse, but the majority never speak up.
If we look at more than just intercourse and expand to include discomfort, we cover the vast majority of sexually active women. It really shouldn’t be that way, and it need not be that way. Occasional minor, short-term discomfort is going to happen, but anything beyond that is unacceptable! So let’s talk about this.
- Your penis is tough compared to her vulva and vagina. Even the head of your penis is much tougher than most of her bits.
- In addition to being delicate, her bits are sensitive. Her clitoris is more sensitive than any part of your penis, and everything between the outer lips is much more sensitive than the shaft of your penis.
- Her vagina does adjust to accommodate you, but it’s not like a bit of foreplay makes her a superhighway ready for your big rig to go full throttle. When you enter her, go slowly. Going halfway in then most of the way out before going all the way in can help move around lubrication and give her body time to adjust. When you get all the way in stay still for tens second before you start gentle thrusting.
- Men need friction to cross the finish line, but for women, wetter is better. Friction does very little for her, and too much of it will result in her being sore the next day or even during sex. If you’re well endowed or engage in prolonged intercourse additional lube is a must, and adding lube is a good idea for most couples regardless. This is true for foreplay too; if she’s not good and wet you can easily irritate her. Check out the wide range of lubricants over on Covenant Spice – it shows you care! (BTW, a lack of lube can increase the chance of her getting a UTI or a yeast infection.)
- Don’t think a lack of natural lube is about you, because it usually is not. Because of hormonal fluctuations, medications, and other things, she can be so aroused she has to have right now and still not be well lubricated. A few women are wet almost all the time, and others will never lubricate that much. Most are variable, and it’s not an accurate indication of arousal or interest.
- Fast and furious is great for you, but not so much for her. She may enjoy it when she’s close to climax, but before that it’s more likely to cause discomfort or pain than pleasure.
- Ask her if she sex is ever painful, and encourage her to let you know if it happens. Sometimes all it takes a minor change of position or stopping for a few seconds. Whatever it takes, do it.
And while we’re here, let’s talk about anal sex. My take is the Bible says nothing about anal sex between a man and his wife, and I’m not qualified to add to the Bible. However, the reality is most women (72%) report pain from anal sex. And we’re not talking just a few seconds of discomfort. I’ve had a lot of men tell me how it doesn’t hurt if you do it right. If that’s true then clearly a whole lot of people are not doing it right. The reality is the majority of women find it painful. If your wife says it hurts, please believe her, and please put her not being in pain ahead of your pleasure.