Jesus modelled servant leadership. He washed the disciples’ feet, which back then was the lowest of the low tasks for the least of the servants in the house. We’re talking cleaning the toilet, without a brush, here.
Jesus also told us to be the same kind of servant. He also told us:
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” [Matthew 20:25b-28]
That general commandment for those who lead must be applied to marriage headship because there is no exception to be found. We are not to “Lord it over” our wives. We are called to serve them, not expect them to serve us.
The idea of servant leadership has been growing among business leaders for a number of decades. It’s not the norm overall, but it’s pretty common in some companies that are doing very well. I ran across this quote several times as I was looking into this:
“Servant leadership is a leadership philosophy. Traditional leadership generally involves the exercise of power by one at the ‘top of the pyramid.’ By comparison, the servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.” ~ Robert K. Greenleaf ?*
That’s not the Bible, but I think it’s a very accurate portrayal of what Jesus said and lived. So I ask myself, am I sharing power with my wife? Do I put her needs ahead of my needs? Am I all about her developing and becoming the best she can be? In a world where women are sometimes treated like second-class citizens, my wife needs my help to be who God called her to be. It should not be that way, but it is.
As I see it, being the kind of husband God called us to be is a difficult task. It means putting her needs, wants, and desires ahead of mine. It means sometimes doing what she wants just because she wants to do it. It means sacrificing more than I expect her to sacrifice. If we do it right she has a sweet deal. The whole “It’s good to be king” thing is nowhere to be seen for a man who is loving and leading his wife the way God tells us to do it.
* I can’t find an attribution for this quote, but I am fairly sure it was inspired by if not said by Robert K. Greenleaf
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Great tweet of the week:
RT @FierceMarriage: 3 things to tell your spouse daily: 1: I love you. 2: I appreciate you. 3: I won’t give up on you. @FierceMarriage
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Blessed Are the Pure of Heart posted Andrew’s Victory ◄ There is deep truth here.
Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart
Don’t Stop ◄ The secret to dealing with cancer.
The Curmudgeonly Librarian
Aphorisms For Marriage, part 1 ◄ Thoughts on apologies, repentance, and restoration.
The Evil in Marriage We Rarely Mention ◄ Are you living this one?
The Ebb and Flow of Physical Attraction in Marriage ◄ And what to do about it.
Sympathy or Empathy? A Key to Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage ◄ “It’s a lack of empathy that leads to so much sexual frustration in marriage.”
The Generous Wife
Heaven Made Marriage
Great Sex is Not Natural ◄ “Having a great sex life won’t come naturally.”
Hot, Holy and Humorous
How Should Christians Respond to Past Sexual Misconduct? ◄ Whole lot of wisdom here!
Intimacy in Marriage
Kevin A Thompson
The Back Door (my take on anal sex) ◄ I think this is spot on!
Men: Here’s the Phrase that Will Make Your Wife Amazingly Happy ◄ Yup, she wants to hear this often!