Buying Lingerie Without Dying of Embarrassment

Panty on foot © Nomadsoul1 |

Where to Shop?

First – don’t think you have to go to one of the lingerie stores in the mall. The selection is great, but the potential for embarrassment is high and your wallet will take a beating. Wal-Mart has some very nice looking things, at great prices. You can also check out my shopping links for on-line resources that provide lingerie without porn. Amazon has a wide selection and some great prices, but you are going to see a lot of skin your call.

Buy Something She Will Like

In addition to not embarrassing yourself, you don’t want to offend her with what you buy. Consider what she wears now versus what you would like her to wear, and go for the middle ground. If you’ve never given lingerie before, start with something just a bit racier than what she currently wears. If she only wears white and pastels, something black with red trim is over the top. Try solid dark colours like blue, green, or purple. Solid black and solid red are more sexual, so if she may be nervous avoid these items or put one such item in with several tamer things. A black background with flowers is a good “compromise”. If she doesn’t already own a thong, don’t buy her one!! It’s about where she is now – if all she wears are “granny panties”, a bikini (not even a string bikini) may seem pretty sexual to her. If she has thongs and no-cup bras, you probably can’t shock or offend her.

The Size Variable

Lingerie sizes are a joke – so go armed with some measurements. You want to get her items in which she will be comfortable. You need her waist size, dress size, T-shirt size, and bra size (the number is her chest measurement under her breasts; the letter/cup is how much bigger she is measured around at the fullest part of her breasts – usually at the nipples.)

  • Bras are easy to size, but then you have other options. Again, let her current wear guide you: If none of her bras has an underwire (a stiff insert under each cup), don’t buy a bra that does. If she does not own a push-up bra, don’t get her one. If all her bras have a bit of padding, buy the same unless it going to be bedroom-wear only. Unless she does not own ANY back hook bras, don’t worry about front vs. back (of course front is easier and more fun for you!)
  • The sizes on panties have no correlation to pants, or dress sizes, or any other aspect of reality, and to make it more confusing they vary from one manufacturer to another. Your best bet is to check a pair of her panties (which are not too old and thus stretched out), and “measure” them. Put one side of the waistband on your pointer finger, and gently pull it along your arm, noting how far it goes. Repeat at the store (when you are sure no one is watching). Otherwise, check the size on her panties at home, then try to find the same brand at the store. If you have her actual waist size, a clerk can help – if you are willing to ask for help.
  • OS stands for “one size fits all”. DO NOT BELIEVE IT. If she is over 30, has ever had a baby, or eats normally, forget about OS.
  • Some things, especially looser things like teddies, are small, medium, large, and maybe extra-large. You can probably guess fairly well at this, or go by T-shirt size. When in doubt, get a bigger size. Tight might be a turn on for you, but not fitting into it is likely to make her feel bad.

Day Wear vs. Play Wear

Some women have two kinds of lingerie – what they wear under their clothes, and what they wear in private for their husband. Some items aren’t practical or comfortable for extended wear, so let your wife know you’re fine with her putting them on just so you can take them off.

Want to try something you think she will find “adventurous”? Give the item along with other items that will not push her boundaries and let her know the one item is “for me”.


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