Her Cycle – how to track it, and how it affects every aspect of her life (including her sexuality).
NOTE: If your wife is post menopausal, pregnant, nursing on demand, or on hormonal contraceptives, the following does not apply.
A woman’s menstrual cycle affects virtually everything about her life, including her sexuality. It would be difficult to overstate the impact her cycle has, and knowing where she is in her cycle can make sex a lot better for both of you. Her cycle also affects her mood, her energy level, and a number of other things. One study even showed it affects a woman’s ability to do math calculations! Some women are more affected than others, and some do better at covering, but all women are affected to some degree.
What I want to do here is give you the tools to track her cycle – then you can make notes about her mood or her sex drive or whatever else, and learn to be ready.
Traditionally a woman’s cycle is counted with the first day of bleeding as day one. This is easy, but it’s not overly useful because this day is not a hormonal starting point. If her cycle is very regular, using the beginning of her period as day one will work fairly well, but if her cycles vary much it’s not going to allow you to track her moods and desires. The reason for this is the number of days from ovulation (release of an egg) to menstruation is consistent for all cycles – 14 days for most women, a bit more or less for some. If her cycle length varies, the extra days are between the first day of her period and when she ovulates. Ovulation is the hormonal key – but you can’t know when ovulation occurred until 14 days later when menstruation starts. Leave it to a woman to be so mysterious!
There is, however a way to work around this unknown. If you keep track of her moods and desires day by day, then add her cycle after you know it, you will start to see patterns. You will see she is sexually aggressive a day before she ovulates, or find she strongly resists sex for the three days after she ovulates, or she is giddy on such and such day, or distant on certain days, or tired, or upset with the kids, or whatever. Once you put these things into context with her cycle, they will become sign posts you can use to know where she is even before her period gives you confirmation.
Enough explanation, let’s get to it. Get a date book or notebook for your records. Start making notes of the things you want to track about her. When she starts her period go back two weeks and make that day 0 (zero). So, if she starts her period on a Wednesday, she ovulated two weeks ago Wednesday. Then put in positive numbers forward, which makes the day she ovulates day 14. Next put in negative numbers from zero back to her last period. Once you have a few cycles you can start to look for certain moods or events occurring on the same or nearly the same numbered day. You may be shocked at some of the patterns – things that have always seems random suddenly have hormonal triggers!
Use your new found insight to bless your wife, and to make life easier for both of you. Don’t invite guests over when she will be tired or grumpy, help with the kids when she has a hard time coping, plan your activities and dates with her mood and energy in mind, and make the most of the times when she is more interested in, and most going to enjoy sex.
As your wife moves through her cycle a variety of hormones ebb and flow. Many of the hormones affect others, increasing or decreasing them, or strengthening or weakening their affects. Aside from making her grumpy a few days each month, this “hormonal dance” has profound affects on her sexuality. Because every woman is somewhat different, you will need to study your wife to learn how her hormones affect her sexuality, but getting a handle on it is be well worth your time. Below are a few common things to look for, as a starting place.
- Most women have their strongest sex drive just before they ovulate, at mid cycle.
- Many women have a “receptive sex drive” prior to the above – she won’t chase you, but may enjoy being chased.
- Following ovulation drive drops significantly and rapidly.
- There may be a “rebound” in desire shortly before her period.
- The type and duration of stimulation she wants/needs during foreplay can vary greatly during the month. Same thing for intercourse.
- There may be certain days (probably the week before ovulation) when it’s easier for her to climax during intercourse, and other days (probably the week after ovulation) when it’s difficult (or essentially impossible) for her to do so.
- She may want or be able to have multiple orgasms only during a certain part of the month.
- There may be a part of the month where it takes longer to reach climax, but the result is more earth shattering.
- She may be interested in receiving, or giving, certain kinds of stimulation at one time of the month, but not another.
Many women are not aware of these sexual side effects of their cycle, and very few are fully aware of them. By studying her sexual reactions over her cycle, you can learn how to use them to make sex much better for both of you. Learn to know where she is in her cycle, and keep it in mind as you are sexual with her.