When you stop at a light with your bride in the car, give her a kiss. Repeat at all red lights.
How much of a kiss will depend on a combination of her comfort level and how public the location.
Bonus: Complain about every green light you hit!
Experiments find long-term happiness and satisfaction come not from what we have but what we do. It seems experiences mean more to us than things do.
I think this is especially true for couples – money spend doing things with her will satisfy her more than buying her stuff. Based on that, I suggest a majority of the money you spend “on her” should go towards dinners, movies, going dancing, museums, day trips, vacations, and so on.
If money is tight, look for ways to “buy” experiences on the cheap. Make a picnic meal and take a drive to the beach, the mountains, a national park, or some such. Find a way to go to movies when the prices are lower. Look for deals on off days and at non-peak times.
If you are not struggling financially there are great deals from vacation locations hurting for income. Maybe it is time for the vacation you have always dreamed about.
For those of you reading on the web site – does the page seem to display correctly? Specifically, is the left column (the one these words are in) correct (see screenshot below). I know the width of the blue between the columns varies by browser, but as long as the columns are as shown it’s good.
I am particularly interested hearing about IE 6 and Safari.
If you live multi-story home or a large single level home, and especially if you have children, there can be a lot of yelling back and forth going on. Some women don’t mind this, but it drives others mad. If your wife is in the second category, think about an intercom system. Wireless intercoms simply need to be plugged into the wall and are ready to go.
Over the past few days Lori and I have had the blessing of seeing a number of friends who live a good distance from us – people we love but don’t get enough time with. It is interesting to see my bride through the eyes of others, and to see how she connects and relates to various individuals. After each visit, we had new points of view and interesting ideas to discuss together.
I encourage you and your bride to make a point of spending time with folks who will give you new insights and ideas to stimulate discussion when it’s just the two of you.
You can send your bride secret love messages or encouragement in public by coming up with a few words, phrases or actions that mean something special to the two of you.
For example – at a table, instead of saying “please pass the mashed potatoes” you could say “please send the mashed potatoes my way”. Let your bride know “send the ____ blank my way” means “I love you”.
“It’s warm in here.” = “You’re so hot.”
“What a beautiful sunset.” = “You are so beautiful.”
Stirring a drink that does not need to be stirred could indicate you are ready to leave when she is. Tuning your watch around your wrist 180° could mean you are having fun and are willing to stay as long as she is.
What is her favourite book of the Bible – and why? If you don’t know, find out – and share the same information about yourself.
What are your sexual roots? What influences your sexual thoughts and attitudes about sex? If those roots are good healthy things, your sexual desires and attitudes are going to be good, healthy, and a blessing to your bride. If your sexual roots are not so good, your desires and attitudes are going to be a problem for your sex life – especially if your bride’s root are also poor.
- Growing up with parents who openly showed love for each other.
- Seeing your sex organs as good from an early age.
- You have always seen your sexuality as good.
- Contact with couples who truly loved each other and had a good sex life. (This does not mean they talked about their sex life – but we can generally tell).
- Good sexual self-control as you grew up.
- Age appropriate positive sex education, starting well before adolescence.
- Avoiding the sexual experimenting so common in high school and college.
- Premarital counselling and advice that said, “Sex in marriage is awesome!”
- Ongoing relationships with men and couples enjoying great married sex.
- Growing up with a parent who thought sex was dirty.
- Your church teaching sex is bad.
- Hearing men are monsters, only after one things, sexually selfish, etc..
- Hearing sex is just for men, and women only do it because they must, or to get things.
- Lack of sex education growing up.
- Negative feelings about your sex organs or sexuality growing up.
- Being molested, in any way, to any degree.
- As a teen or older pushing for sex, or being pushed for sex.
- Exposure to porn and other media with distorted ideas of sexuality. This would include soap operas, many romance novels, some other fiction books, some graphic novels, and some R rated movies.
- Sexual contact with multiple partners over any length of time.
- Sex with your spouse before the wedding.
- Close friends with any of the roots above.
- Premarital warnings about sex: it is painful, overrated, hard to get, and so on.
If you have more items in the bad roots list than the good roots list, what does that say about you, your sexuality, and your sexual self-image? Have you dealt with the bad roots? If not, they still have an impact on your thinking.
What about your bride – can you go through the list above and mark her roots? If you cannot, you do not know enough about her.